On Saturday I kept looking for it after work, just on foot quite aimlessly. In the afternoon I took a nap because I was seriously dizzy and my mood started to plummet. I came out of my bed when I heard so much noise in the lounge - it was Hide coming back from the street where he raised money for his travel by asking people for donations. So Hide was sharing his stories of the day with Wako, lots of laughters and happiness. I came out and looked at Hide's photos for a bit but I couldn't utter a word, because I was far from a happy place. I left and went to toilet where my mood just swayed and hit the ground. I remembered how when I was sleeping I had forgot about the bike and was in peace, when my restaurant manager called me that woke me up very suddenly and I was not in the state to say anything logically. I didn't pick it up and he started messaging me, asking if I could come to work that night. I couldn't, because I had told him I was going to this environmental film festival with Wako and plus I had very little sleep and was exhausted. Then I tried to go back to sleep when Marie called me, asking if I needed picking up to the theatre. 

So I was in the toilet, thinking why everybody wanted something from me, and why nobody would ever understand my situation, my feelings because they are so subtle and out of this world filled with insanity. I couldn't come back through the lounge again because tears were going to burst any moment, and there were happy people on my way back to my dark silent room. I turned right, and it was raining in the backyard, just as if it was a scene set for me. I sat down on the wet ground, crouched on my knees and started crying. I cried because I felt so cut off from the world. When a week ago I was so so so happy because of what people did for me, how they showed me their kindness through offering help when I lost my bike, and moreover how my bike magically came back to me. And then a week later I tried so hard to keep positive and become a fighter myself instead of relying on others to look for it, but nothing pays off and I made myself and my flatmate and coushsurfer stay up so late and worried about me. 

I cried there in the rain, feeling as if I was melting away into the floor just like how the rain was running down my thin jumper. I must have been there for a lifetime when I heard someone coming close. It was Hide, he asked 'are you ok?' and I couldn't say anything, because anything I tried to say would have been very blurred by my sobering. I covered my face with two hands and buried into my knees. He patted on my head, and I heard some noise of him taking of his jacket and laid it on me. Then there was no more noise. I started to cry even more, had no idea what I was doing and how it affected people around me. I stayed there for a while, looking at the rainy backyard, a peaceful and desperately gloomy scene. 

I felt the weight of Hide's waterproof jacket on me, which was how I gathered enough strength to stand up and come back to life again. Hide was not in the house, and Wako neither. I thought maybe they moved into Wako's room to talk so as not to disturb me. Marie came soon after and I had to function again. But Wako was sleeping and Hide wasn't anywhere. I started to worry, because I had his jacket. We had to leave soon for the movie and that was when Hide came back, apparently wet from running outside. He said to me 'sorry I couldn't find your bike' and at that moment, I thought 'fuck this, why was I so irresponsive to his 'are you ok'? If I had said anything he probably wouldn't run out at that time to search for something that would never be found again. I could find no expression to tell him my guilty gratitude, no words really could describe my feeling at that time. I tried saying 'you didn't have to do this' but it just sounded really off. I tried many times on our way to the movie start so I guess he understood. 

Today when he came back from uni, he poured the coins and notes he got yesterday onto the table, saying 'this is for you, you can buy a new bicycle'. I almost wanted to cry again or punch him or do something to that degree to punish his funniness... I liked him so much just for what he did that moment. Yeah I think he's crazy. And funny. I told him I could never ever take his money for something like a bike, when he doesn't even have enough money to buy a ferry ticket to go down south. He said with his broken English that he traveled to help people, and he wants to give this money to Palmy, and he will earn money in Wellington. I laughed and asked him how much money he had left, he said $43 from Auckland. He raised something like $37 yesterday. Then he took out the biggest note ($10) and looked at me, said 'this is to... pay for my stay'. I laughed again because I never felt somebody is so funny before - I told him with so much joy that I wouldn't take his money for anything. He then asked me to give all the money to the homeless here in Palmy. That I agreed with. 

We then talked about travels, plans and his life back in Japan. I pulled out my lonely planet and he showed me his university is in Kanazawa, and he was born in Toyama, and he grew up close to Mito near a river. 

He said he worked part-time job every day before he came to NZ (on his first day with us on Thursday) and I found it funny and said "isn't that a full time job?" He told me today that he stayed with his Chinese friend who is doing business college in Tokyo and worked in a net cafe for 3 weeks to save up enough money for the return plane tickets. Suddenly it made sense to me of his whole story. He's taking some time off and will return to Japan and graduate from robotic studies next year. Then he doesn't know what. I think I might go to Japan and see his city if I get a chance. I told him I don't like flying, but there is a ferry from Shanghai to Osaka. Then we checked the map on LP and from Osaka to Kanazawa isn't very far. I asked if I can hitchhike, he thought so and he could pick me up from the train station. We kept playing Kentama the Japanese toy and looking at maps of New Zealand and Japan. I felt thrilled to be thinking of being on the road again, in Central Otago on the bike trail (I told him I will not lose a bike ever again), or in Japan visiting Kanazawa's samurai history and gardens, or cycling from Osaka along the coast to Tokyo, or going to the mountains...

Life feels good when you are with simple people, that's been my principle for the time being. This time it is certainly proved again.