Don't believe a thing I say

From the first homeless that I talked to. We talked for more than half an hour, and he made me realise there is this big hole in my life - constantly I feel the need to improve myself here and there, but the big hole is the reason I'm not happy: I've been so self-centred, everything about me me me, but what is the real struggle of life and death and pure surviving remains a question untouched. I had too much to think after our conversation that I almost felt I would faint, as I couldn't catch up with all the thoughts that fired in my brain like fireworks. Wow. I thought about Thoreau, talk with classmate about money and human's benchmarking with the society, how people believe we are born to be unequal and then stop thinking about improving others' conditions. I thought about all the food being wasted, the stupid rules about supermarkets throwing stuff away and people can't take them but get charged with offending law, business and its ugly dehumanising power.......
Thoreau kept popping in my mind: how philanthropy is a hypocrisy to him, how he would "run away if someone is coming to him for the intention of doing him good", how he manages to live "poorly" but behave like a gentleman........ It's so real, life is too real to be spent drinking and partying and forgetting about this shit

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